Relationships are the building blocks, the literal foundation of philanthropy. “People give money to people” is a refrain we often hear. The COVID-19 pandemic has further hammered home how critical relationships are to fundraising success. Organizations that have strong relationships with and communicate and engage donors are better positioned to navigate these unprecedented times.
I believe there is both an art and a science to relationship building in the context of philanthropy. By art I mean the creative methods that we bring to a relationship – how do we speak, what do we say, how does our body engage in the conversation? By science, I mean specific tactics and methods that build and advance relationships. You need both in order to build and retain relationships.
The Art of Relationship Building
1. Connect: The most important component of a relationship is a genuine connection between people where they are comfortable and enjoy conversing with each other. Start out a relationship with no other agenda than to form a connection and learn as much as you can about the person.
2. Ask The Right Questions: Asking questions is the best way to get to know someone and form a connection. Ask broad questions that offer the person the opportunity to share about themselves and also provide insights into how you can continue to get to know them. Questions like “how did you first become involved in the organization?”, “what motivated you to make your first gift”, “what motivates you to keep giving?”, “what influences your philanthropic decisions” are ones I have used in the past.
3. Listen: This sounds so obvious but it can be hard to do. Really listen to what the donor or prospect is saying and process it. What do their responses say about who they are, what matters to them in life? Demonstrate that you are listening by signaling through nonverbal cues such as sustained eye contact, nodding, and positioning your body in the direction of the speaker. Contemplate what the person is saying to you and take time to process throughout the conversation.
4. Talk About Yourself, A Bit: There is a perception that fundraisers have to be extroverts. In reality, a successful fundraiser needs to be a good listener and also able to build connection and commonality with the donor or prospect. This can be done by talking about yourself – a bit. Don’t go overboard and share your life story. But if you grew up in the same hometown or state, went to the same school (even if many years apart), have children or parents the same age, or have traveled to the same places, take the time to acknowledge and share experiences. You will build a stronger connection by sharing a bit about yourself.
The Science of Relationship Building
Once you have begun to build the relationship, there are a number of key tactical steps you can take in order to keep the relationship moving forward.
1. Update Your Data: It sounds obvious, but make sure you have the correct contact information for the donor or prospect and use their preferred method. I once worked with a donor who only wanted to communicate via text. Although I found it irritating to text at night, she preferred to engage that way and she commented one time that she appreciated my communicating with her in the way that worked best for her.
2. Follow Up: The absolute worst thing is to start a relationship and then let it tail off. Follow up immediately. A short email thanking them for their time and tying in a detail from the meeting is critical. If you promised to share information or get back to them about something, mention that and then do it promptly. As your relationship grows, continue to promptly follow up. It is a critical aspect to relationship building and soliciting.
3. Consistency: In addition to following up promptly, maintain an appropriate cadence of communication. Send a note to check in, schedule a call to tell them about a new program your organization is doing. You have to stay in touch in order to build and maintain a relationship.
4. Incorporate A Special Touch: Make a note of any information the donor or prospect shares with you about an upcoming birthday, family event, trip, then check in afterwards to see how it went. Send an article about a topic that came up in conversation while you talked. Send a holiday card or birthday card. Share a resource about the donor or prospect’s hobbies or interests. I one time checked on the results of the PGA Tour (I don’t know the first thing about golf!) so I could see how the donor’s favorite player fared. Small touches like that show that you care and are invested in the relationship.